I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
