why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
