We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
