i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
