The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Two words: blizzard sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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