The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
