carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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