I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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