PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
