There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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