I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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