Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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