you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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