Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime

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  (440): i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime http://tfl.nu/8e5t
  Replies (23) Good night (831) Bad night (5983)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.

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  (318): I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky. http://tfl.nu/cr7y
  Replies (36) Good night (3937) Bad night (1009)
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  (562): View more from California

  I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.

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  (562): I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial. http://tfl.nu/180u
  Replies (25) Good night (626) Bad night (4602)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..

  (1-647): View more from Ontario

  who won?

  (647): View more from Ontario

  THAT is your concern right now?

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  (647): on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest.. (1-647): who won? (647): THAT is your concern right now? http://tfl.nu/f9cv
  Replies (14) Good night (4807) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.

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  (704): It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States. http://tfl.nu/t1qp
  Replies (16) Good night (6529) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me

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  (440): Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me http://tfl.nu/mmr9
  Replies (17) Good night (1197) Bad night (3232)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know

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  (513): im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know http://tfl.nu/k4xw
  Replies (11) Good night (3763) Bad night (1796)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out

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  (770): He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out http://tfl.nu/ozsp
  Replies (7) Good night (1024) Bad night (2711)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups

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  (563): At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups http://tfl.nu/0hio
  Replies (4) Good night (1877) Bad night (1041)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.

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  (517): Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/tw02
  Replies (4) Good night (916) Bad night (2275)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.

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  (309): JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap. http://tfl.nu/l0kn
  Replies (8) Good night (2173) Bad night (610)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.

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  (778): Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP. http://tfl.nu/dcb2
  Replies (4) Good night (1592) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.

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  (310): Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim. http://tfl.nu/t01v
  Replies (1) Good night (1069) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco

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  (337): You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco http://tfl.nu/5cvy
  Replies (1) Good night (333) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?

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  (770): i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today? http://tfl.nu/3ln3
  Replies (2) Good night (285) Bad night (161)

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