Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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