i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
