So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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