She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
ugly people sure do ruin things
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
