we're blogging at a bar
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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