I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
