There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
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He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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