what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
