omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
