Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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