I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
