the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Dicks are not precious.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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