you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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