what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
