I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
