All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Define "chronic" masturbator.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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