I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
