he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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