i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
