I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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