im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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