i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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