He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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