tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize