I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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