found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
