We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize