The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
