He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
