Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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