I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize