Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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