sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
