I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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