I want to stick my p in your. b.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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