One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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