did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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