wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Dating After Heartbreak
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.