if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.