Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
