He is such a slut. More and more my type.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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