If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
