laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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