After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
