Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
