Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
