every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
How external is "for external use only"?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
