i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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