He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
